Cute and Soft Dolan Twins One-Shots
by Quinn Eleanor
Summary: GRETHAN BROMANCE. A collection of cute and soft themed Dolan Twins imagines. Originally posted on Wattpad under my name: QuinnEleanor.
1. E-Tee

This book contains:

1\. Grethan bromance, **not** romance

2\. Mild-swearing at times

3\. Cuteness galore and soft themes

4\. The Dolan Twins (duh)

5\. Nothing that will make you cry

 **ONE** : E-Tee

 **Prompt** : Ethan likes to act like a kid sometimes. Grayson goes along with it.

Ethan had a secret.

It wasn't like he was embarrassed by it.

Okay, he was, if not by a little.

God, he'd die if anyone found out.

Lisa and Sean Dolan were like shadows against their house, their lives. There was a consistency in their work. Lisa was a Philosophy instructor at the local college and was working on her P.H.D from Rowan University online. Most nights she was either in her study grading endless piles of papers, planning her lessons, corresponding with students via email, or working on her thesis.

Sean was a prominent business man in the community. He was constantly in meetings, in a consistent rush of clients and projects and deals. Most weekends he wasn't even home but in the city doing whatever needed to get done.

It wasn't like they were _bad_ parents, they just weren't _there_.

Ethan and Grayson Dolan had to practically raise themselves. They had to put on the roles of grownups ever since they were pre-teens. Grayson cooked mostly- lasagna, creative little dishes he saw on the Food Channel, and anything a picky Ethan would eat-and Ethan would clean everything up, keep house, and make sure all the clothes were washed and folded in their proper places.

Order was an important thing for him.

When Grayson would mess up their room- throwing his sweatshirt onto the floor, leaving his can of empty Coke on the side table- Ethan would have to hold himself back from yelling at him. He didn't like fighting with his twin so if he could avoid it, he would. But things being in order was _extremely_ important. If they weren't, bad things would happen.

For example, Grayson would get injured in football. Sean would get into a car accident on the interstate or Lisa would miss her _very_ important meeting due to construction on the road.

They had different interests. Grayson was more interested in sports, while Ethan would rather sit in their shared room and read Wordsworth or some theory on time and relativity. He was labeled from an early age by his peers as the "sensitive, smart one" and Grayson was the "tough, sporty one." Labels were tough.

After all labels were for products, not people.

Ethan was extremely intelligent and even though Grayson would never admit that it wasn't like he hadn't been jealous of him before, especially when he got a problem right and the teacher would turn to him and ask, "Does that seem correct, Mr. Dolan?"

Like he knew what the hell Ethan was talking about. Who did, really? It was going passed most of the kids in the class, including himself.

And he'd smile, strained, and say, "Yes, ma'ma," and pray to God she didn't ask him to explain it as well.

Ethan's brain seemed to be on a constant rut, but he never explained that to his twin, though. He didn't need to.

Grayson knew.

It was like a million things were going on at once-Why was that man looking at them? Did he get that assignment in? What did Thoreau mean when he said that one line in _Civil Disobedience_? Had he eaten. Had Grayson eaten today. What time was it? What was Gray saying? How long had he been talking to him, and of what was he talking about, for that matter-and that led to panic attacks. He didn't like disorder.

Things had to be done a certain way and a certain amount of times.

Twenty-two times did he need to turn off the light switch in their room, thirty if it was a Thursday, and he had to close the front door three times when they got home from school. Close, open, close, open, wait twenty second, and close it again. If it was snowing, seven times.

To say that acting like a child relieved his stress would be the understatement of the year. It was like he was drowning in thoughts, ideas, orders, and patterns, and when he was a kid, when he was E-Tee as Grayson affectionately called him, all of that went away. He didn't need to think about how many times he had to turn off and on their bedroom light because Grayson would do that. He didn't need to worry if he locked the front door because Gray would do that.

They were fourteen when Ethan had suddenly, well, turned.

He had asked Grayson, in quite a serious tone, to read him a bed time story and then to tuck him into bed. At first, Grayson didn't know how to react. Was he screwing with him?

"What?" Grayson had asked, looking up at him from his video game. Ethan was standing there, looking down at him.

"Gwaysun," he had said, and leaned over the couch slightly, "rwead me a bedtime story, pwease."

He blinked at him, and then turned to his game, blinking. Then he looked back up at his brother.

"Do you have a fetish or something?" Grayson had asked when he realized what his twin was doing. He sounded like he was joking.

No, that wasn't it. Not at all. The question was light-hearted enough but Ethan had turned away, hurt. Did Grayson think he was a freak or something?

Gray saw the look on his face and put down his game controller, "I'm sorry."

Ethan sniffled, and his face fell. He got up from the couch.

"OK, let's read a bedtime story."

Grayson led them to their bedroom and Ethan stood there, head cocked slightly to the side, and watched as he pulled out the tub of their childhood things from under the bed. There were stuffed animals, toys, blankets, and a stack of books at the bottom of the tub. He pulled back a couple of blue blankets to reveal them and turned to his twin.

"Which one?" He asked, and Grayson understood when he pointed to one of the colorful books in the stack.

He really did.

And he was okay with it. It wasn't weird to him. If Ethan wanted to act like a little kid, then he was more than happy to play big brother, to play protector.

"Okie dokie, E-Tee," he said, and pulled it out. He took Ethan gently by the arm and led him to his bed. Ethan slipped under the thick dark green comforter and Gray pulled the blanket back, sliding in beside him. Ethan curled into his side and laid his head on his wide shoulder as Grayson opened the book.

"I warm now," he said, and Grayson's lips turned upwards slightly as he flipped to the first page.

"There was once a little rabbit named-" he began, and Ethan sighed in content.

Being Dyslexic, Grayson had once found himself hardly reading a paragraph straight. Ethan had helped him forever with that it seemed. He remembered when they were young, eight in fact, and Ethan seemed to be practically soaking in books like _Harry Potter_ when he was still stuck on _Goodnight Moon._

Ethan would never make him feel that way, though. He never made him feel dumb, or slow, or not worthy enough. If everything else made Grayson internally self-conscious-Lisa going over her lesson plans playfully with them and Ethan seeming to retain a good amount of information when he didn't, Sean making some off-handed remark that if he didn't do well in school he sure as hell would do great in professional football with his large build and near perfect hand-eye coordination-Ethan made him feel as though he could do anything if he just put his mind to it.

He wasn't just a string of muscle to be used for someone else's gratification. He could be a brain, too.

 _"I failed, E. Shit, I'm a dumbass."_

 _"No, you're not. Saying that makes you sound like a dumbass. You did better than last time, right?"_

 _"You got this, G,"_ he'd say with a smile as he flashed vocab words in front of his face. Gray would look at his twin and smile. He had a sure look of determination in his eyes, as though he wasn't going to get up until Grayson knew the word forwards and backwards. And after a while, words did start to make sense. P's didn't look like D's anymore and groups of words weren't getting mixed up as bad.

If Ethan ever felt like he was getting too stressed out he would become E-Tee.

"Gwaysun," he'd say and his twin instantly knew when Ethan was on vacation and E-Tee had come out to play. He'd never get mad if Ethan started acting out at the most random of times-when he was helping him with his homework, when they were play wresting in their backyard in the fall leaves, when Ethan was reading one of his books aloud-and he never told their parents. It wasn't any of their business, anyway. If they wanted it to be their business, they needed to stay around for more than five minutes at a time, didn't they?

Grayson started getting little stuffed animals at CVS during check out for Ethan. E-Tee seemed to really like stuffed animals and coloring books, even though he had a hard time coloring within the lines.

He felt a bit awkward holding up a stuffed raccoon, big eyes shining brightly under the store lights, as he stood in line.

"It's for my, uh, girlfriend," he had stuttered out when an old lady looked back at him. She gave him a kind smile and he turned away.

"I luve it," Ethan had said when he got home, holding the furry stuffed animal to his chest and rocking side to side, "And I luve you too," he said to his brother. Grayson had grinned and reached out to hug him. He backed up with a mischievously stubborn look in his eyes and ran.

"No huggies!" Ethan called out and Grayson could tell that he was going to go hide from him.

"E-Tee, get back here! I have to take off the tag!"

Lisa and Sean would be gone all of Saturday. Sean was always gone to the city for some reason or another, and Lisa had an academic meeting. On Friday night they said goodbye to their boys over dinner since they knew they had to get up very early, earlier than their two sixteen-year-olds would get up.

Lisa was sipping a small glass of wine, swishing the liquid in her glass, and tilted it back, taking a swig. Grayson had an ice pack pressed up to his shoulder and a new cheek bruise to boot.

"Are you two doing much tomorrow?" Their father had asked, and Grayson smiled lightly. That depended on if Ethan wanted to be Ethan tomorrow.

"We're probably going to do homework. Maybe watch a movie," he said, and Ethan nodded next to him, bringing up at bit of lasagna to his mouth, taking a bite.

Sean nodded to his two sons and then turned to wife and started talking about one of his deals. She took another swig of her wine, staining her lips a light purple with the liquid.

It was Saturday morning when Grayson woke up to Ethan sitting on the edge of his bed. The sunlight was streaming through their window, letting in the rich yellow light of a new sun. He had Mr. Rabbie, his raccoon, in his hands bouncing him up and down and talking to him.

"We are going to have lots of fun today, Rabbie. Gwaysun is going to take us to the park."

When he made a slight movement, Ethan's eyes turned to him and then to the stuffed animal again, saying, "Oh, no, we woke him up!" He scolded the wide-eyed creature, and turned to Grayson shyly, afraid he was going to get in trouble.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He smiled when he was met by Ethan's wide-eyed gaze. Sitting up slightly, he stretched.

"Hey," he said, and looked up at his brother who was blinking. Once, twice.

"Gwaysun, you awake now," he said, and gave him a toothy grin. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around his neck. He felt Mr. Rabbie on the side of his head.

"Hey, E-Tee," he said, and patted his back. Ethan released him and frowned, looking down, "I'm hungwy."

Grayson smiled and said, "It's time for breakfast, I guess."

Ethan hummed, bringing his raccoon up to his chest and hugging it tightly.

"I want bath first."

Grayson nodded and got up as Ethan blinked at him.

He went to get him a change of clothes, bending over to slide the box out from under his bed, grabbing a pair of warm socks.

"I want the gween shirt," he said and Grayson looked up at him as he pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms, " _pwease_. I want Duckie too."

Grayson smiled and did so. He went to run the bath water.

"I want Rabbie."

"You can't have Mr. Rabbie in the bath," Grayson said sternly as Ethan had reached for him on the counter after he was in the bath. He couldn't reach him and was going to go and get him.

"But, Gwaysun-" he started sniffling as Grayson made him sit back down in the water, bringing Duckie out from the pile of clothes on the counter.

"Duckie!" He cried out in happiness, completely forgetting about Mr. Rabbie and Grayson handed him the little plastic yellow duck.

"Gwaysun," he said, sniffling, patting into the kitchen. He had taken his bath and his black hair was dripping wet. The kitchen smelled richly of pancake batter.

Grayson was at the stove making pancakes, flipping each one over slowly, watching as the batter spread outwards. The sunlight drifted through the wide window, gracing the side of his face and his hair, bringing out his highlights. He smiled when he heard his name.

"Hey, E-Tee," he said, turning towards Ethan, watching as he rubbed his eyes. He looked upset, red faced.

"Are you okay?" He asked and sat down the spoon.

Ethan shook his head, looking up at his brother, "No, I hurted," he said, and showed him his finger. It was still bleeding lightly, and Grayson's eyes widened, and he went to him, placing his hand under his.

He had touched Lisa's purple razor on the bathtub's rim, and it had been mean to him and bit him. He had watched the blood stream out and drip into the bubbles of the bathwater.

"It's okay," Grayson said as Ethan started to cry.

"It hurted," he said, and Grayson was turning off the stove, placing the pan on the back burner, and grabbing him gently, leading him to the bathroom. He sat him on the closed toilet seat.

"I want Rabbie!" He cried out and Grayson quickly went to the counter and retrieved the raccoon, placing it in Ethan's outstretched hands. He took it and shoved it against his neck, rocking side to side.

Grayson quickly pulled down the first aid kit.

"OK, E-Tee, let me see it."

Ethan did so, clutching the stuffed animal in one hand and brought his hand out for his inspection.

"Am I dying?" He sniffled, and Grayson held back a choke of laughter.

"No, you're going to be okay," he said, pulling out antiseptic and a band-aid.

"That's because you take care of me," he said, and was putting the tip of his thumb to his mouth.

"Yeah," Grayson said, and was wrapping his finger, "You bet I do."

He looked up at his brother who had his eyes closed, humming lightly.

He made Ethan a couple of small pancakes with a bit of whipped cream just as he liked it.

"Thank yowu," he said and shoved a large bit of pancake into his mouth.

"Slow down. You'll choke," Grayson said, and smiled when Ethan did so. He was sitting by him and Mr. Rabbie was between them, glass eyes staring out. He had a bit of whipped cream at the tip of his nose, and Grayson had grabbed a napkin to wipe it off.

"This is yummy," he hummed at him, taking another bite. Grayson cut a bite and brought it to his own mouth, smiling at his brother.

It was noon and Ethan was coloring a lion in one of the safari centered coloring books Grayson had bought him. He was mumbling a song lightly, belly down on the living room floor, and glanced up at Grayson who was sitting on the couch watching some T.V. show. He threw down his blue crayon and brought the coloring book up, getting up from his spot on the floor.

"Do you like it, Gwaysun?" He said and was moving to sit by him. He shoved it in his face.

Blinking, Grayson took the coloring book in his hands.

"Yeah, that look _great_ ," he said with a smile as Ethan brightened up and gave it back to him.

Ethan nodded, and said, "I think it's real pwetty too."

He dropped the book, and then looked at the T.V., then to Grayson again.

"What time is it?" He asked, and he turned to him, pulling his phone out of his jean pocket and checking the time, "12:01."

"Spongebob time!" He suddenly yelled out and Grayson started laughing as he was reaching over him to get the remote control from the couch's wide arm. He snatched the remote and started hitting random buttons.

"I got it," he said, and took it from his hands.

"Spongebob," he said.

"I know, E-Tee."

He flipped it onto the right station and Ethan's eyes went bright as he grinned. He rested his head onto his shoulder as the opening credits played. Grayson smiled as they watched the bright cartoon.

"He's funny," Ethan would say and yawn, rubbing his eyes after a while. Grayson looked down at him.

"It looks like it's nap time, bud."

He reached down and picked him up, taking him to bed as he closed his eyes, curling into his chest.

A little past three Grayson gave Ethan a fruit snack and he asked, "Can me and Rabbie go to the park? I want to go on the swings."

"Not today, E-Tee," he had said as he was cooking supper. He was making E-Tee's favorite: roast beef and mashed potatoes. He moved past him to take out the hot rolls from the oven with red oven gloves on his hands.

"But Gwaysun," he started, lips trembling and clutching the raccoon to his chest.

He stirred in the gravy, saying, "I'm making dinner. It's your favorite."

Ethan slammed his foot against the ground and let out a huff of frustration. Grayson looked at him as he proceeded to let out a sharp yelp and a glare. He was crossing his arms over his chest, looking particularly stubborn.

Grayson set the wooden spoon down.

"Do you want to go into time out?" Grayson asked sternly, and Ethan shook his head, frowning.

"I sorry," he said and then brought Mr. Rabbie to his chest again, rocking slightly. Grayson's eyes softened and he said, "It's okay. Go and wash your hands, okay? The food's ready."

He smiled and Ethan returned it, saying, "Okay, Gwaysun."

It was night time. The sky was a blanket of black as Ethan walked into the living room with a blue blanket wrapped over his shoulders. He was kind of cold and wanted Grayson with him.

"Gwaysun, read me a story, _pwease_ ," he said, patting into the living room, bringing him his book. He had it pressed to his chest and Grayson looked up. He had been watching a Netflix movie that was too scary for E-Tee. He had put him to bed but it seemed like he wasn't ready to go to sleep quite yet. Grayson put the movie on pause and then decided that he needed to go to bed himself and shut it off completely.

"Sure," he said, looking up and smiling at his twin. He got up, pulling his own blanket off.

"Piggyback!" Ethan yelled out when Grayson got close and was suddenly jumping on his back, Grayson's hands under his thighs to support him, as he threw his arms around his neck, the book's spine against his shoulder.

"Weeee!" He cried out as Grayson ran to their bedroom.

"What's that word?" Ethan asked, blinking his eyes up to his face. Grayson was lying down under the covers, Ethan curled to his side on his bed.

"Bear," he said, and Ethan repeated the word.

"Brown bear?" Ethan asked, resting his head on his shoulder as he flipped the book. Grayson held it out to rest on his belly, and Ethan's fingers went to a picture of a smiling bear with a baby bear beside it. He traced it with his finger.

"No, black bear."

"Oh," said Ethan, and nuzzled his shoulder some more.

"That's funny," Ethan said, tracing the picture, "He real funny, Gwaysun."

"Yeah, he is," he responded, and Ethan let out a little laugh.

"I like his bawloon," he said, and scratched at the paper. Grayson touched his hand and said, "Don't scratch that."

Ethan's hand stilled and he moved it back, looking up at Grayson who continued to read. Was he upset with him?

Grayson was still reading. He started to sniffle, and he stopped mid-sentence to look down at him in confusion.

"Gwaysun," he said, and started crying. He couldn't help himself. It was like a flood gate had been opened.

"What's wrong," Grayson asked, concerned.

"Don't be mad at me!" He cried out, and balled his hands into fists, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm not," Grayson said, looking down at him, and placing the book to the side. Ethan was moving up, rubbing his eyes and hiccuping, and Grayson moved down and brought his arms around him and pulled him gently back down so he couldn't move.

"I'm not mad at you, E-Tee," he said, and Ethan leaned into his touch and let his head go to his shoulder again. He let out a hiccup.

 _"Shhhh,"_ Grayson said, rubbing his back.

Ethan stilled and rubbed his eyes as Grayson said, "I would never get mad at you, E-Tee."

He let himself feel protected and safe, closing his eyes. After a few moments, he opened his eyes again, looking at the white wall and his bed on the other side of the room. He sniffed and took his sleeve up to wipe off any tears from his cheeks.

"Thanks, Grayson."

There it was.

There was Ethan.

Grayson smiled at his twin as he reached to turn off the side lamp. He could feel him getting comfortable beside him. He clicked off the light as he slid his head onto the side pillow.

"Shut up," he said playfully, "freak."

He could feel Ethan kick him under the covers and go still again.

They fell asleep as a light rain began to fall outside their dark window.


	2. E-Tee (2)

**TWO** : E-Tee (2)

"Gwaysun!"

That was the sound that Grayson Dolan woke up to in the early morning hours of a particularly pleasant Sunday morning. The sunlight was streaming in through the window in slants due to the part-way opened blinds. He could see it through the pink of his eyelids.

He opened his eyes to the pure white ceiling of his bedroom.

He heard a giggle, soft and quiet, somewhere near him. A smile pulled at his lips.

"What are you doing, E-Tee?" He mumbled and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

He heard a very enduring giggle coming from the bottom of his bed.

He turned his head to check the time: 7:45. He sat up, the blankets falling from his wide shoulders, and cocked his head slightly to the side. He heard a soft type of movement and looked at the wide brown board at the bottom of his bed.

"Do I hear something?" He said in a sing song voice and pulled the blankets away from his body to slowly crawl across them to the edge.

He heard a stifled giggle from somewhere on the floor and a whisper of, _"Rabbie, stop waffing. Gwaysun's gunna heard us."_

"Do I _hear_ an ornery little rug rat?"

 _"Oh, no!"_

"Boo!" He said when he popped his head over the headboard and saw that Ethan was staring up at him sitting on the floor. He had Mr. Rabbie pulled to his chest. He let out a shrill scream.

He cried out and busted into laughter when Grayson pulled himself over the headboard and tickled him on the soft carpeted ground. He tickled him right under the arm pits and he squirmed with the stuffed raccoon in his arms.

"No more tickles, Grawysun!" He yelled but was laughing too.

"Okay, E-Tee," he said and retracted his hands. Ethan smiled up at him and sat up, shoving Mr. Rabbie in his face as he crossed his legs.

"Rabbie wants to go outside today!" He said, and Grayson looked at the stuffed raccoon, shining plastic eyes peering into his own. He kneeled in front of his brother.

"Mr. Rabbie's looking a little dirty," he commented when he noticed the purple juice stains splashed onto his gray belly. Ethan retracted him quickly and brought his arms around him, rocking side to side.

"Rabbie clean," he said stubbornly when Grayson's hand reached out to touch the edge of the raccoon's flank, but Ethan pulled it back and out of his reach, holding him tighter in his arms.

"I think I may have to throw him in the washing machine," he said reluctantly, softly, and Ethan's eyes went wide. He knew what the washing machine was, and he did not like it. No, he did not.

"No!" He yelled out and Grayson opened his mouth, but E-Tee wasn't done.

"He'd drownded!"

Grayson laughed at the protective look that came across his face. Ethan looked up at him confused at his reaction. Mr. Rabbie drowning was a very serious concern.

"Well," Grayson said, "would Mr. Rabbie like to take a bath with you?"

He wouldn't let him in the bath last time, but he was this time. Ethan's eyes brightened, and he said, "Rweary?"

"Yeah," he said and was getting up as Ethan was.

"Up," he said, and his brother raised his head as Grayson leaned over to pour a cupful of warm water onto his wet, shampooed black hair. The bubbles rushed down his back and landed in the bathwater, spreading outward.

"Bubbles," he said and dumped that raccoon under the water again, his tail dripping wet.

Grayson smiled at him and reached to the side of the tub for the bar of lavender scented soap.

"Can we wash Mr. Rabbie now?" He asked with a smile and Ethan blinked at him and then nodded, bringing it up to Grayson.

"Don't be mean," he said when he took the raccoon to the edge of the tub and ran the bar of soap across his fur until it turned a stark white. Ethan watched curiously as he took handfuls of bubbles in his palms and spread them outward in the water.

Grayson scrubbed at the juice stain and then brought the stuffed animal over the tub, pouring the cup of water over him, repeating the motion several times.

"He clean?" asked Ethan and Gray nodded, saying, "He's getting there."

He placed a soaking wet Mr. Rabbie on the bathroom counter with a towel under him. The bath water was draining slowly, and E-Tee was humming to himself on the closed toilet seat.

Grayson was picking up the dirty clothes from the bathroom tile and placing them in the laundry basket that he brought from the hamper.

"Gwaysun, my shoes," he said, and Grayson turned towards him. He was looking at his baby blue sneakers, the white laces clearly untied, and then to him again.

Grayson gave him a soft smile and proceeded to lean down to tie his shoes.

"Too tight?" He asked and looked up at him. He shook his head no, and Grayson smiled.

"Let me blow dry your hair," he said when he got up, and Ethan shook his head, not wanting to experience that loud noise again. He didn't particularly like the heat either.

"No, too loud," he said.

"But if we are going to go outside, your hair is going to have to be dried. You'll catch a cold," he said, and Ethan looked up at him. Grayson thought he was going to say something by the quiver of his lip. He didn't.

He then proceeded to run quickly past him and out of the door yelling, "No!"

"E-Tee get back here! You need to brush your teeth!"

He was wearing a Christmas sweater that had a happy reindeer on it with a bright red nose. Grayson had insisted that he wear it because it was the thickest one he had, and it would keep him warm.

"Otay," he said and rubbed his hands down the reindeer's sleek form.

Ethan looked down at his sweater and then back up at Grayson who was making breakfast sandwiches at the counter. He was sitting there watching Spongebob from the viewpoint on the bar stool through the open space to the living room. His hair was dripping wet and was turning the collar of the green material a darker shade than it was originally.

"Rabbie!" He said when he suddenly realized that the raccoon wasn't there with him.

"He's in the bathroom, E-Tee," said Gray, looking up at his brother as he cut the sandwich he had in half. Ethan looked like he was going to get up and fetch him.

"I'm going to put him in the dryer, okay?"

Ethan turned to him and said, "Why?"

"Well, if he's going out, we don't want him to catch a cold from getting wet, now do we?"

Ethan looked at him and screwed up his face as though he was in deep contemplation over the matter.

"Why?" He repeated as Grayson screwed the plastic peanut butter top back on, smiling at him. He was putting the sandwiches on the plate and sitting it down in front of him.

"Because he's going to get really warm and dry that way."

Ethan hummed, he liked that Mr. Rabbie would be warm.

"Let me comb your hair," he said and pulled Ethan to him.

"But, Gwaysun, I don't wanna have my hair combeded," he said as he sat at the couch trying to watch his cartoons. Grayson had made him a peanut butter sandwich with sweet grape jelly and he was enjoying eating it.

"Would you like some," Grayson began and was moving to the cabinets in the kitchen and was reaching to the highest shelf. This was E-Tee's special shelf that had all of his snacks in there.

"Goldfish?" He held out the white box of Goldfish down. He heard that and his eyes shifted away from the brightness of the flat screen. He grinned, dropping his sandwich onto his plate as Grayson came back from the kitchen and he saw what was in his hands.

"Fishies!" He called out and was grabbing for the box.

He sat Ethan on the floor and sat behind him, crossing his legs, as he watched his show. He took a towel and rubbed at his hair to try to dry it at least a little bit as Ethan stuck his hand into the carton and pulled back a handful of the orange fish shaped crackers.

"He's funny, Gwaysun," commented Ethan as he was watching Patrick doing something quite amusing. Grayson took the comb and ran it through his drying hair, saying, "Yeah, he is."

When he managed to get his hair decently dried, he combed it from the back up so that it fell across his eyes.

"Oh, I can't see," he said, and Grayson stifled a laugh as Ethan turned partway around, black hair over his tightly closed eyes.

"Sorry, E-Tee," he said and ran his hand through his hair to bring it back up again. His eyes fluttered open as he gave him a toothy grin, turning back to his cartoons.

Ethan was holding a very warm and very clean Mr. Rabbie in his arms as Grayson zipped up his winter coat. Ethan clutched the skin right under his elbow as he did so for balance.

"Is it colded outside," he asked when Grayson opened the hallway closet to get his black winter beanie.

"Yeah," he said and then placed it over his brother's head. He grabbed his own dark blue coat and threw it over his shoulders, zipping up the zipper as he opened the back door.

Ethan grabbed his larger hand and he smiled, looking back at him as they stepped outside on the wide back porch. The trees were barren and stripped of their leaves, and the ground was rich with dead, fallen ones of a dozen shades of brown. There was a dusting of powdery white snow on the ground that covered most of them but not enough to make a snowman or to have any real fun with it. Their breaths were white clouds of smoke.

"It's cold!" He exclaimed and clutched Mr. Rabbie tighter to his chest. He felt Grayson's palm move with him as he stepped down the concrete steps to their backyard and the woods beyond.

Grayson let his hand go when he ran off to sit beside on of the large oak trees on the edge of the property and propped Rabbie against the tree as his hands touched the dusting of snow under him.

He stretched his legs and walked as he watched his brother on the ground. He felt the hard ground against his sneakers and the blueness of the clean blue sky above him.

He was thinking about the cell project that he needed to get done for Biology that Ethan had promised to help him with. He was thinking that he really needed _Ethan_ at the moment and not E-Tee, but he wasn't complaining.

Ethan had seemed to be more stressed out lately as though the whole of his anxiety was frazzling his nerves. He noticed it Friday when they got home from school. Grayson was exhausted from a particularly brutal practice and had just wanted to pass out in his bed, but he noticed how Ethan was organizing everything in both of their drawers when they got in the room. He hadn't even bothered to take off his coat or his backpack. He was matching color to color: blue socks went to blue boxers, white socks to white underwear, and folding them neatly away. It was more compulsive than usual which concerned him.

"You okay, E?" He said as he slipped off his gray sweatshirt. He felt his twin glance up at him and gave him a smile. It was fake as hell.

"Yeah," he said and turned back to his task. Grayson knew something was up but he didn't want to push him. If Ethan wanted to tell him, he would.

And Ethan did. After a couple of seconds, he looked up at him again.

"Shit, I'm just stressed out," he said. Grayson pulled off his dirty sneakers and was placing them beside his bed. He nodded at him and watched as he matched two pairs of socks together, hands twisting with the fabric.

And Ethan didn't need to say anything else.

Lisa was there all of Saturday even though Sean would be in the city all weekend, so they spent most of their day chilling out and getting some homework done. They played on the Xbox until Grayson wanted to lift weights. Ethan sat on the bench beside him absorbing one of the classics as he did so, head phones in playing some song with a distant meaning in his close head.

Lisa was gone on Sunday to visit her sister over some Christmas plans which meant they had the day, like most days, all to themselves.

He wanted his twin to help him with his science project on Sunday but when he woke up it was clear that E-Tee had come out to play. But Grayson wasn't complaining. There was always tomorrow.

There was _always_ tomorrow.

"I'm gonna get you!" Grayson exclaimed and acted like his hands were claws, grinning wildly at him from behind. He turned his head around to look at him and his eyes went wide. He jumped up from the ground when Grayson acted like he was going to grab him.

Ethan squealed and ran for it, yelling, "No, Gwaysun!"

"I gotcha!"

He grabbed him around the waist and tickled him to his shrill laughter. He leaned down quickly to Ethan's "Gwaysun!" and threw him over his shoulder. He began spinning him around, grasping the back of his thighs as Ethan hung over his back.

He was laughing hysterically as Grayson moved around and around.

He began laughing at his own dizziness as the brown of the bark, the blue of the sky, and Ethan's puffy red coat all began to blur.

"I'm gonna get sicky!" He yelled out and he slowed down until he came to a complete stop, sitting him down.

He giggled and took a step and nearly fell. Grayson's arm shot out and caught him before he did, though.

Grayson made hot chocolate when night fell and popped a bowl of marshmallows into the microwave so that they swelled up and expanded in the heat. He took a fork and twisted the melted sugar and scrapped off a clot of it into Ethan's warm hot coco cup so that it was just the way he liked it.

Ethan was curled on the couch watching a commercial when Gray came in. His eyes turned to him as he squeezed the stuffed raccoon in his sweater clad arms.

"Gwaysun!" He exclaimed in happiness when he brought the cup gently into his hands.

"Let it cool off a little okay?" He said as he sat down beside him watching as Ethan tilted the drink back. Grayson sipped his and watched his brother to make sure he didn't start coughing or anything.

"This is yummy," he said with a grin and Grayson smiled at him, placing his cup on the coffee table and taking the blanket up that was laying across the back of the couch. Ethan placed his cup down on the wood as well and Gray pulled him to his side, wrapping the blanket around both of them.

"I wanna watch a movie," he mumbled and leaned his head against his chest, feeling Gray's strong heart beat. He wrapped his arm around him and held him there.

"Okay," he said, and Ethan's eyes watched as he took the remote off the side table and turned the station, going onto Netflix. He nuzzled against his shoulder and relaxed, feeling Rabbie in his lap protected by the blanket.

"Which one?"

"Chwismus," he said and watched as he flicked through the titles that had the Christmas subtitle.

"This one?" He asked but his tone already gave it away. He knew it was Ethan's favorite Christmas movie.

 _"Elf!"_ He exclaimed in happiness and then said, "Yes, plwease."

"Okay, E-Tee," he said with a smile at his exclamation and clicked on the movie title.

"I luve this movie," he said to him and Grayson nodded. Ethan's eyes were blinking up at him.

"I know," said Grayson, watching as the loading bar came on.

"And I luve you," he said to him and he had to suppress a smile. Ethan turned his attention to the flat screen and leaned back again.

Grayson nuzzled the top of his thick black hair as the movie loaded and began to play.

 _"Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?..."_

He started yawning half-way through and Grayson rocked him gently, feeling as Ethan's head stilled on his shoulder and then his breathing softened in his ear.

As the end credits rolled, he whispered, "E-Tee?" softly. His arms felt numb and he really needed to move he was so stiff, but he wasn't going to dare wake him up. He watched as his twin breathed slowly, completely passed out.

He grabbed the remote and sent the screen to a pitch black.

"I love you too, Ethan," he said softly as he took his brother in his arms and lifted him up. He carried him to their room and tucked him in gently into bed. He settled in the thick baby blue covers and nuzzled his head into his pillow, turning over. Grayson's hand stilled at his side, his gentle breathing.

"Goodnight," he whispered to his brother as he flicked out the side lamp and settled into his own bed, pulling the thick comforter over his shoulders and turning over. He closed his eyes as sleep pulled at him.

 _"Goodnight, Gray."_

That was the last thing he heard as he closed his eyes and let sleep pull him into its gentle embrace.


	3. Tactical Signing

**THREE** : Tactile Signing

Ethan Dolan was watching a bird.

He had been for quite some time as his twin was bringing the hard, dry sticks up from the rich soil. How he had found some he had not a clue. He thought that nothing was dry anymore. But somehow Grayson had managed to find some, just like he always did, and was bringing them in bunches to where he was sitting. He sat them down at the edge of the cloth and piled them up.

Ethan felt for the Bic lighter he had in his front pocket for a moment, making sure he hadn't dropped it on the walk out there. Finding it there he smiled at his brother who seemed focused on getting it just right. He wasn't looking at him. Instead his hands were grasping the sticks as he folded one on top of the other.

A storm had blown in the night before and most of the trees were wet, the morning dew still clinging to them, the bark a shade darker than they normally would be with the moisture. Ethan had spread the plaid red blanket out onto the ground. He was sitting on it in the clearing with his legs crossed. He was enjoying the smell of the air. He watched the bird as he brought a crisp apple slice, sprinkled with cinnamon, from his tin fold. It had a sweet, woody fragrance to it that reminded him of fall. It was spring and all of the trees were in full, glorious bloom. He bit down and chewed slowly, watching as Grayson moved to get some more wood.

A cloud moved out from under the sun and the sunlight was suddenly gracing his face. Ethan closed his eyes and felt the warmth there on his tank-top clad shoulders, his arms, and on his throat. He opened them again to watch the bird.

Did you know that the American Goldfinch was New Jersey's state bird?

In spring and early summer adult males are bright yellow with black foreheads, black wings with white markings, and white patches both above and beneath their tails. In winter they are a drab, unstreaked brown.

This was a male. It was hopping next to a tree as finches tended to do. His black eyes turned to him and then he cocked his head to the side, turning the other direction. He pounced up and then down again.

In the winter, when the pond behind the house had completely frozen over, he and Grayson had gone out to buy great big bags of birdseed as well as a new bird feeder. The one they had attached to their maple tree out front had been bloated and wrapped in the summer sun: dry rotted cord, weak plastic, and chipped.

He noticed them congregating, all brown, outside on the bare bush of his bedroom window one morning when he woke to the strong scent of hickory smoked bacon. Their little feet patted on the snow, jumping, hopping, peaking, and he had opened the window slightly, if not by a crack, to let the freezing cold breeze nip at his nose and his face. Some clung to the branches for dear life as the winter wind struck them.

Some of them glanced at him when he did so, some moved, but most stayed right where they had been, bracing against the chill.

He had gone to Grayson's bedroom across from his and had gently shaken his shoulders to wake him up. His eyes had fluttered open and he smiled up at him when their eyes met, even though he looked like he wanted to just turn back over under the covers. He took his hand as Gray rubbed his eyes, hair stuck up at all angles, and led him across the hall and to the window in his room.

Grayson's eyes brightened when he saw the little creatures and Ethan moved his hand in the palm of his brother's.

He had bought a large bag of birdseed when they had gone out that afternoon: a mix of safflower, hulled sunflower seeds, and Nyjer. Grayson had picked out the bird feeder, one with thin stripped bars to keep the squirrels from getting at the seeds.

He let Gray stick the stake in the snow right outside his window and it rocked slightly, nearly falling over. He did it again and that time it dove itself deep into the ground. Ethan trudged through the snow with his long snow boots on, heaving the bag of seed in his arms, and sat it down in the snow by his twin. Grayson tore the bag open with the switchblade that he kept in his front pocket and they used an empty plastic Folgers coffee can to scoop the seed into the bird feeder.

Ethan took a handful of it in his numb hand and tossed it against the ground, watching as the seed spread out onto the hard, frozen snow. Grayson threw some of the seeds at him, hitting his coat and bouncing off again to hit the whiteness of the ground.

Grayson made hot chocolate with sweet whipped cream when they got inside. Ethan leaned against the counter and watched him sprinkle in the light brown crystals into the warm milk as he took the two identical red cups out of the microwave. Ethan took his cup with a smile, feeling the warmth of it against his palm as they walked down the hall. They sat on Ethan's warm bed and watched out the window, slowly sipping their hot coco, and feeling the steam rise from the cups.

It took half an hour for the finches to come again. When they did there was one, then another, and like a rush, several came, pecking and moving and hopping on the hard snow.

Grayson stirred the coco that had stuck to the bottom of his cup, watching as his twin smiled at the sight just outside of the cold winter window.

He flew up suddenly to a branch, his pretty little yellow wings fluttering, and Ethan's head went up to it. He was thinking about winter and he was thinking about how beautiful American Goldfinches were when he felt a familiar presence crouching next to him.

Grayson dipped his hand to touch Ethan's and he looked up at him, sliding the lighter out from his jean pocket. Gray gave him a smile, a flash of white teeth, and then took it to the pile of sticks just at the edge of the blanket.

Ethan brought another slice to his mouth and savored the taste as Grayson brought out some dry tinder from his pocket and flicked it. A flame came forth out from the light metal.

Did you know that fire was not a form of matter but a chemical reaction?

Ethan watched as he set the tinder on the fire and began to quickly add sticks to make a circular type of mass. He shoved the lighter into his front pocket.

The orange flame rose up as did the smoke. Ethan felt the heat of the fire as the sunlight left him. The sun was beginning to be covered up by yet another fluffy white cloud that was slowly, sluggishly moving across the pure blue sky.

Grayson smiled down at his work and brought the bottom of his tank top up to wipe off the sweat from his forehead. Ethan moved slightly away from the flame. He was beside him.

Ethan looked up as Gray quickly signed, _S'mores?_

Ethan popped another slice of apple in his mouth and signed, _Yes. One or two?_

 _One._

He brought out the bag of fluffy white marshmallows, a sleeve of gram crackers, and a couple of chocolate bars, and put the tin foil to the side, concentrating on making his and Grayson's s'mores as the other male sat down next to him on the blanket.

Grayson and Ethan Dolan were both completely and utterly deaf.

They had never heard a baby cry, or music, or the sound of the rain as it hit against the concrete. They had never heard a bird's gentle twittering, or the way the wind would hit a wind chime and bring it alive with its own natural music. They had never even heard each other's voices, and neither could ever imagine what that might sound like if they lived in another world in which they weren't, in fact, deaf.

Ethan could read lips pretty well. Grayson had a bit of a hard time at it compared to Ethan, but he was always by his side to sign it if he wasn't getting what the person was saying.

They liked to hand sign outwardly but would do hand-to-hand whenever they could.

They used something called Tactical Signing.

Grayson would grab Ethan's hand or Ethan would grab Grayson's and sign through the touch and movement of his hand against his twin's palm.

 _Do you want that?_

 _I think the recipe needs more cinnamon._

Some people, like when they were at the store, or standing in line somewhere, would give them strange looks when they noticed that they were touching each other's hands. Neither one of them minded. After all, what could they say to them? It was easy to ignore others when one was deaf.

Ethan placed the marshmallow on top of the chocolate and then in between the two long slabs of gram cracker. He handed it to Grayson who was put a stick through it in order to hold it out over the fire.

Ethan did the same with his and watched as the brown chocolate melted against the whiteness of the marshmallow and then he flipped it over, feeling Gray's knees against his on the blanket. He had crossed his legs Indian style matching his own sitting position and brought it to his mouth. Ethan did the same, blowing on it to cool it down. When they finished, Ethan wiped his sticky fingers on a paper towel he had brought with him.

Ethan felt Grayson take his hand, palm up, and sign, _Would you like to leave?_

He took his hand and felt the warmth of his palm, _No, you?_

 _No._

Ethan laid back onto the blanket and after a moment he felt Grayson do so as well, shoulders touching. Grayson grabbed his hand and brought it up slightly to rest on his chest, palm up, and was signing, _I could stay here all day._

Ethan switched so that that his hand was over Grayson's, fingers against his palm, _Me too._

They laid there watching the clouds slowly drift across the blue sky and took in the rich scent of the burning wood as the smoke curled up into the air. Ethan blinked and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt Gray sign, _You asleep?_ onto his skin after a couple of minutes.

 _Obviously not_ , he signed back and opened his eyes, turning his head to the side to meet his twin's eyes. His dangly wing earring moved slightly when he looked at the sky and then to him again. Grayson smiled and then closed his own eyes as the sun was uncovered from a cloud and caught his face in the sunlight. Ethan closed his eyes as well, enjoying the warmth.

When Ethan felt it was right, he signed, _I think it's time to go._

Gray opened his eyes to look at the side of his face and smiled.

His fingers were quick against the flesh of his palm, _Okay._

They got up and Gray went about kicking the dark, moist dirt onto the fire to put it out while Ethan knelt on the ground and gathered the blanket. He shook it out to get the clinging bits of moss and wet, stubborn dirt off the material. He folded it up and pushed it into his black hiking backpack along with the food.

When he got up, throwing the bag over his shoulders, he caught Gray smiling at him, waiting. The fire was put out and it had started to smell like the forest again: wet, rich, and grassy.

They began to walk through the twisting trees, side by side. Ethan took his palm and Grayson locked their fingers together, holding his hand at his side comfortably.

They didn't need to sign a single word as they headed home that peaceful spring day.

Because they were walking in perfect silence.

And they wouldn't have wanted it any other way.


	4. Stand By Me

**FOUR** : Stand By Me

Prompt: Ethan is a chronic sleepwalker.

 **Noctambulism**

(nŏk-tăm′byə-lĭz′əm)

n.

Sleepwalking

 _December 19, 1958_

When Ethan woke up, he woke up injured.

It wasn't the first time this had occurred, but he didn't remember there being so much blood.

And Grayson wasn't there.

He was supposed to stop him from doing things like this.

He blinked in the darkness and his eyes adjusted to see the bare winter trees all sad and cold against the gray backdrop of the forest. There were the woods, all thick on their farm, and the wind that blew lightly against him. Then there was the sensation of having his feet bare and cold against the dead yellowing grass. He curled his toes, feeling how _cold_ he was. His pajama top was of a thick cotton material, but it wasn't doing much to keep in his body heat.

That was the first thing he noticed.

Then there was the sensation in his hand, in the meat of his pajama clad legs, and Ethan looked down. He was right up against the fence post, as though his body walked straight up to it, betraying him. He felt the barbed wire before he saw it and grimaced.

It wasn't that tall, really, the wire going right to his hips, but it was tall enough. He opened his palms, bringing them up to his face. He moved back and felt the sliced flesh as he pulled away from the sharp material. Droplets of blood ran down his arms and hit the grass softly, and he stared as they did so.

Ethan Dolan found himself at the edge of the woods, his hands sliced, and thighs punctured with the shiny barbed wire that surrounded the land to keep the neighbor's cows at bay.

He looked at the blood on the wire and then on himself. He turned around as the pain flared up deep and thick, walking slowly back to the house.

Grayson was still asleep when he made his way up the concrete steps and through the open door and into the house, hands held straight in front of him, limping. He didn't want to get blood on anything. The cold had corrupted the inside, sending the warmth out and the chill in. He used his hips to close it and it made a little _bang_ as it did so, the black and white picture in the frame on the wall of a smiling Ethan and Grayson moving slightly. It was them at their school dance, hair slicked back with two honeys in their arms. He let his eyes move away from it.

He looked over at the Christmas tree in the living room's corner, the silver tinsel heavy on the tree and the shiny wrapped presents laid on the carpeted floor. The fireplace's last embers were still lightly burning, and Ethan inhaled the hickory smoke.

He focused on the staircase that led to his and Grayson's shared bedroom and began walking up. He tried not to grasp the banister, but he felt it right under him, the blood soaking partway in the wood.

Ethan closing the front door had woken Grayson from his deep, well-needed sleep, and his eyes fluttered opened, meeting the blackness of his ceiling.

He turned his head to the side in the low light and did not see the familiar form sleeping in the twin bed across the room.

He rose up from the covers, sliding off the bed. He really hoped Ethan was in the bathroom, really hoped he himself hadn't screwed up. He had locked the door and could've sworn there was no way that his brother could get out.

But he had.

Grayson had been exhausted and hadn't woken up. He always woke up when these things happened.

"Geeze Louise," he said under his breath, and went to the door, yanking it open and finding it unlocked. He stepped out into the hallway quickly, and heard movement down the long corridor.

He turned the corner and stopped when he saw the familiar outline in the dark.

"Ethan?" He said, concerned, and was making his way down the steps at his brother's grimace. He was there with the stark, unnatural red on him in the low light.

"I got out again," the other male stated quietly, blinking up at his brother moving towards him quickly. His normally slicked back hair was a mess on top of his head and in any other time he would be laughing. He looked like a damn bunny.

"Shit," he said when he saw the cuts on his palms, the blood dripping out onto the hardwood floor. He looked at the rip in his pants and scowled. He was beside him so close that Ethan could see the rapid rising and falling of his chest. He hoped he hadn't woken their mother up with all his racket, but since she wasn't there, he knew he hadn't.

Gray put his hands under his and felt the slickness of the liquid against his own. He took his wrists and looked at the blood, rubbing his fingers gently against the skin.

Ethan was shaking but was trying not to.

Their eyes met on the stairs in the dark.

"I'm sorry, E," had said and was grabbing him, leading him to the bathroom.

"It ain't your fault," he said quietly as Grayson held his hands gently.

But it was.

Grayson was running the warm water in the wide white tub and taking Ethan's palms, trying to clean the wounds. He had antiseptic and rolls of bandages spread out on the light pink tile floor, and Ethan could feel one of the rolls besides his cold, bare foot. Gray bent over as he sat on the edge of the tub, trying to get warm. He had pulled a thick plaid winter blanket out of the hallway closet and threw it over his shaking shoulders. It smelled distinctly of cinnamon and fabric softener.

"I thought you went out to play back seat bingo," said Ethan. He was referring to why Gray had taken their cherry out that evening without explaining. It was late that night when he came in, and Ethan was already sleeping soundly. It was sooner than usual, though.

He had told Ethan that to try to make it seem like he was getting all the honeys. He said that every time, but the other male knew better. Because Ethan was the older twin by twenty minutes and somehow that was supposed to make him the older and the wiser of the two, Grayson had always felt as though he was living in Ethan's shadow, being the younger twin, the less _outgoing_ twin. Ethan never made him feel like that, though. It was always clear that they stood on equal ground.

He liked to make Ethan think that because he was the only person he thought he needed to impress.

Grayson was really going out to buy his Christmas present.

No one knew about Ethan's sleepwalking besides Grayson. Not even their mother sleeping soundlessly two rooms over. They didn't want to worry her none with it. She had the farm to worry about and praying their father would get home safe. Vietnam was very far away from Long Valley, after all.

Ethan didn't want anyone to know, either, so Grayson wasn't telling. It made him feel like something was wrong with him. It made him feel like a freak, especially when everyone thought he was the cool guy, the guy who had all of his shit together.

Sleepwalking was something he had done almost every night since they were kids. It was as normal as breathing to him by then, except when he got hurt.

And, like everything else, Grayson was the one to look out for him. He was a light sleeper normally and would grab Ethan and pull him back to bed if he noticed him up walking around.

But he hadn't that night.

"You know I did. I got Baby Betty tonight," he said and turned to a trembling Ethan. He was looking at the blood on his pajama bottoms, and Grayson was taking his hands again, lightly scrubbing the cuts. He crouched down in front of him and took the glass bottle of antiseptic to the wounds, holding his palms over the bath tub. Ethan grimaced as it bubbled, leaking out to land in the whiteness of the bath's bottom.

"Bogus."

"Bogus my ass," he said, smiling at him lightly, looking like he himself was about to fall asleep again.

"Your hair's funky," Ethan commented and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling as his twin began to wrap his hands with the pure white material. He moved his palm, hand gripping his wrist, to get a better angle and around and around the bandage went. He did it quickly, and pulled away when he was done, placing the dressing roll back on the ground.

" _My_ hair?" He said, and Ethan felt his brother put his large hand to the top of his hair and ruffle it up.

" _Your_ hair's funky," he whispered lightly and Ethan's eyes fluttered open, wet.

"Get bent."

He smiled at that, pretending not to notice the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over.

Ethan took off his pants and let Gray clean the punctuate wounds on his thighs grimacing as the pain, sharp and bitter, made him feel queasy. The blood came off on the white rag as a light pink and his brother made sure to put the crème on it to help it heal.

"Does this feel okay?" He asked as he rubbed a finger full on one of the cuts that was slightly inflamed. The red of it was startling against the paleness of his skin.

"No," he deadpanned. That was a deeper cut and it stung.

"Sorry," he said and was wrapping the white bandage against the skin.

"It's alright."

Ethan was lying in Grayson's bed looking up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the throbbing in his legs and hands. Gray was right at his shoulder and he could hear his light breathing in the dark. He had helped him in a pair of loose pajama bottoms which felt warm under the blankets, and he was trying to get comfortable.

He sniffled and shook as the tears began to fall down his warming cheeks. He was trying not to cry, but it was impossible. He felt his twin stiffen beside him.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay," he whispered and brought his hand up to his side and his fingers spread out over his rib cage, feeling each one. He rubbed at them lightly, gently, soothingly.

"I'm sick of this," Ethan croaked out in cold of the December's night.

He was sick of his chronic sleep walking.

He was sick of having to be strong, to be the man of the house, to make everyone else think everything was okay.

He was sick of watching their mom _worry_.

He felt his brother's large palm go still against his side, and then he was pulling him, and Ethan found himself on his side, facing him.

"I know," Grayson whispered, watching the outline of him shake lightly, sniffling. He was shaking his head as though in disagreement.

"But everything is going to be okay," he said quickly, reassuringly, rubbing the skin there in a tender motion.

"Do you know why?" He asked gently, and Ethan looked into his eyes.

"Why?" He asked and brought his bandaged hand to his eyes to wipe away the tears with a shuddery breath. He couldn't, though, because the material was too bulky. Gray was already doing that for him, though, as he brought up his sleeve to his cheek.

"Because I'm right here, E. I'm always going to be here for you," he said as he pulled back his hand to rest contentedly at his side again.

His twin smiled at that and let his eyes close for a moment, saying, "I know."

He felt as Grayson wrapped his arms around him in the dark, bringing them comfortably together.

"I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," he whispered in his ear and felt as Ethan relaxed, going slack against him.

 _Even yourself._

"I know," Ethan whispered, and he _knew_.

Gray had made a mistake but that wasn't going to happen again.

They had to be strong for each other, they had to be strong for her until he came back from the long, foreign war.

Ethan fell asleep to his brother rubbing gentle circles into his back and whispering soft reassurances into his ear. He watched as his twin went completely still in sleep, and closed his own eyes, opening them after a few moments.

"Don't make me be the big brother again," he whispered in his ear, his nose pressed up to the side of his feathery black hair, "I really want you to be okay."

Ethan mumbled lightly in his sleep and Grayson's hand stilled there as he closed his own eyes.

And he _was_.

Because he had Grayson.

And that's all that really mattered.


End file.
